Don’t Settle For Less If You Didn't Perform At Your Best | Grade 12 Results
Dr Jacques Mostert • February 22, 2021
As the Department of Basic Education prepared to release the Matric results of 2020, many young people nervously awaited their results, either knowing that they didn’t perform to the best of their ability, or with no idea of what to expect and what they would do if they didn’t do well. It is however important to know that there are various options available if things didn’t go as planned, and not worry about what came before, but rather focus on what actions can be taken going forward, an education expert says.
“At the beginning of each year, we set ourselves goals and enthusiastically make New Year’s resolutions. For a significant number of young people, this also means embarking on a new adventure, transitioning from the structured life of school to the exciting world of adulthood,” says Dr Jacques Mostert, Academic Manager for ADvTECH’s Abbotts College.
“This rite of passage usually goes along with making plans for further education and training. But what happens if things don’t go according to plan, and instead of going on to further study, you are faced with the reality that your Matric results were not good enough to start out on this new journey just yet?”
Mostert says the enthusiasm of looking towards a future filled with potential and promise can sometimes be dampened by Grade 12 results that are not as good as what were expected.
“Usually this results in a reshuffling of plans, a rush to come up with Plan B, or desperate calls to schools to enquire about re-marks or a second attempt to writing the exam. But these aren’t always the best approaches available and settling for second best need not be the way forward.”
Before making instant decisions about what to do if things didn’t go as planned, there are a few things that parents and young adults must consider, says Mostert: Embracing the power of “yet”; making a mind-set change from feeling helpless towards taking control, and embracing a growth mindset geared towards the future.
Embrace the power of “yet”
Dwelling on the past, and constantly going over the ‘what ifs’, can be debilitating, says Mostert.
“Notwithstanding the cliché of letting the past remain in the past, for a young adult with high expectations experiencing disappointment, letting bygones be bygones isn’t that easy. Accepting that a goal may not have been reached yet, and embracing the power of possibility, young people can develop a resilience that will inevitably become paramount in their personal and professional development.”
From hopeless to taking back control
The anxiety that goes hand in hand with making life-altering decisions without considering all the options is a considerable contributing factor of a sense of helplessness both parents and young adults experience, notes Mostert.
“Deciding to change course and settle for less should not be an option. We tend to believe that in the modern world of the fourth industrial revolution and omnipresent social media, there exists a set timeline to reach arbitrary milestones. The reality is that there is no set end date for reaching any goal. Young people should look past peer pressure, and take action to get back on track towards fulfilling their goals.”
Developing a growth mindset
Mostert says that no matter how attractive moving out of the house, embracing independence and forging a new future may seem, there are two inevitabilities of life, other than paying tax, every young adult must face.
The first is that change is ubiquitous and the second is that getting better never stops. Learning, especially in an ever-shrinking global market, never stops.
“Disruption isn’t always as negative as we may think at first. Taking a moment to consider all the options available and considering an alternative that at first did not look like an option often allows a person to embark on a pathway towards success.”
Mostert says apart from the usual avenues of rewrites and remarks young people might consider when receiving less than stellar results, they also have the option of redoing Matric or even just improving their subjects, to ensure they can still pursue their dreams, albeit a little bit later than initially planned.
“At Abbotts College High School, students can enrol part-time to upgrade their subjects, for instance. This approach provides students the chance to increase their marks and that enables them to meet their tertiary Admission Point Score (APS) in order to be accepted to study in the field of their dreams.”
He says while many students may not be keen to return to a school setting, institutions such as Abbotts College provide a different kind of environment which is more in line with a college campus, because the focus is on academic improvement, not rules and uniforms.
“We believe that every student is able to develop and achieve academic success, wherever it is that they start from. Improving subjects or redoing Matric in an environment that treats you like a young adult while still following a structured and organised routine, enables students to put the disappointment behind them and become increasingly independent as they manage themselves and their learning.
“Last year was an exceptionally difficult one for the Class of 2020, and for those whose results are not yet in a space which allows them to pursue their vision, our message is clear. If you take a little extra time now to invest in starting from a solid foundation, this temporary hurdle will soon be forgotten, as you embark on the path that you intended a few months down the line.”’

In today's fast-paced digital world, screens have become an integral part of everyday life, especially for high school students. With technology now deeply embedded in education, communication, and entertainment, it is easy to overlook the potential consequences of excessive screen time. For adolescents, screens serve a crucial role in learning, as many educational tools and resources are available online. However, the same devices that support them on their educational journey also contribute to recreational screen time, such as social media, gaming, and streaming services, which can easily become distractions. As a psychologist and school counsellor, I often engage with students and parents who struggle to find a healthy balance between screen use and academic responsibilities. With the increasing reliance on technology for learning, the challenge of managing screen time has grown. The Impact of Excessive Screen Time Excessive screen use can have far-reaching consequences, affecting students' cognitive abilities, emotional well-being, and physical health. Academic Performance- Studies indicate that students spending more than four hours per day on non-educational screen activities tend to have lower grades. The lure of social media, gaming, and video streaming often leads to procrastination and multitasking, reducing focus and productivity. Many students attempt to complete homework while texting or watching videos, which decreases cognitive efficiency and retention of information. Mental Health Challenges- The connection between excessive screen time and mental health struggles is well-documented. A 2020 study in the Journal of Adolescent Health found that teenagers who spend significant time on social media are more likely to experience anxiety, depression, and emotional distress. The pressure to maintain an ideal online persona, cyberbullying, and constant social comparison can contribute to lower self-esteem and heightened stress levels. Additionally, blue light exposure from screens can disrupt sleep cycles, leading to fatigue, irritability, and difficulty concentrating. Physical Health Concerns- Beyond academic and emotional consequences, excessive screen time is also linked to sedentary behaviour, contributing to obesity, poor posture, and eye strain. Prolonged screen use can cause headaches, back pain, and digital eye strain, negatively affecting overall well-being. Establishing screen-free periods and incorporating physical activity into daily routines is therefore essential for counteracting these risks. The Role of Parents in Supporting Healthy Screen Habits Parents play a crucial role in helping their children develop balanced screen habits. Open communication and a supportive environment can encourage teens to make mindful choices about their screen use. Rather than imposing strict rules, collaborative discussions about the impact of screen time and its management foster better cooperation. Encouraging offline activities such as sports, reading, or creative hobbies can help students cultivate interests beyond screens. Parents can also set a positive example by managing their own screen use and prioritising family activities that do not involve digital devices. Here are some practical strategies for managing screen time: Create Screen-Free Zones and Times : Designating areas where screen use is restricted, such as bedrooms at night or the family dining table, promotes healthier habits. Implementing a no-screen rule at least an hour before bedtime can significantly improve sleep quality and overall well-being. Utilise Technology for Learning: Not all screen time is detrimental. Encouraging the use of digital tools for educational purposes, such as online courses (e.g., Khan Academy, Coursera) and research platforms, helps foster a love for learning beyond the classroom while keeping screen time purposeful. Model Healthy Technology Use: Children often mimic their parents' behaviours, making it essential for adults to demonstrate balanced screen habits. Engaging in outdoor activities, reading, and family discussions instead of excessive screen time help reinforce positive behaviour in teens. Striking the Right Balance Screens are an unavoidable part of modern life, but finding a healthy balance is essential for academic success and overall well-being. By setting boundaries, fostering open discussions, and promoting alternative activities, parents and educators can help students navigate the digital world responsibly. When teens develop self-regulation skills and prioritise their responsibilities over distractions, they are better equipped to succeed in school and maintain their mental and physical health. Encouraging balance does not mean eliminating screens altogether, but rather using them mindfully to enhance learning and personal development.

In the wake of the mid-year exams, there is much that parents and students can learn from their results, which should be used to consider the way forward, an education expert says. “I was fortunate to have one child who was very diligent as a scholar, starting to study way ahead of the exams, even from the lower grades, using her midterm break to study year after year. She never had to be asked to go and study and her study breaks were actual breaks from studying,” says Mignonne Gerli, Principal: Abbotts College Pretoria East. “This was not true for all my children. Another of my children thought that studying the day before the exam would do just fine. I remember always catching this child on a study break or as she had just finished studying. I can confidently say that I never, in five years, caught her studying. You can imagine the fights and stress (felt by me) during this time.” As parents, we know how important it is to achieve good results at school. Prior to Grade 11 and 12, students already need to have developed a mature and diligent work ethic. “We know which doors can be opened and which firmly shut, based on your school results,” says Gerli. “For this reason, we fight the good fight which means that exam periods can be extremely stressful and highly unpleasant in many households. We try various methods to cajole our less than diligent children to put effort into their studies and in some cases loathe the day that the reports are published.” Whether exam time is a breeze for you as a parent, with your model child, or absolute hell, with your sweet/funny/kind but less committed child, the end of the exams and results need to be reflected upon. And for those who suffered through the past exams, it is time to come up with different strategies for the next set of exams. “Reflection for those who appear to prepare well for exams, will take the form of considering whether their study methods were effective or if they need help with the way in which they study.” “During these exams, I watched my one granddaughter study. “Not once did I catch her on a break on the days she was with us. What I also noticed was that she studies by copying out the textbook, not something that can be remedied when she is shoulder deep into the exams. This is not an effective way to study and she will definitely need to be taught better study methods in preparation for her next exams.” What have you as a parent noticed about your child’s study methods? Can you assist or will you need a professional to help with better study methods? “Students who achieved excellent results for their exams can reflect on why they did so well and how they can build on this going forward. “The students who put little to no effort into their preparation for the exams, will need guidance and assistance from their parents to try remedy their approach to their work. There needs to be an open, calm discussion about why they did not study for the exams and what would motivate them to study and put effort into their preparation for their next exam session.” Approaches could include: Negative consequences for poor effort, such as having their phones taken away for a period of time, grounding them or taking away certain privileges. Offering a reward for effort, this may be in the form of a cash incentive for improved results or achieving a certain mark per subject, it could be purchasing them something they would like, it could be additional privileges. Reasoning with them, explaining the importance of developing a mature work ethic and achieving good results. This is something teenagers struggle to fully comprehend so some true-life examples of success and failure of family members and friends, when it comes to financial and career success, may be useful here. Go through university courses they may be interested in with them and show them what is required to qualify for the courses. I have found that many teenagers have no idea what is required to gain access to a career they wish to pursue. A reality check is sometimes all they need. Help them think about their future and what they want to achieve in life. It needs to be concrete as having a goal is a great motivator for hard work. Usually, it is the students who have no real vision for their future and what they would like to achieve who struggle to motivate themselves to study. They simply don’t get why it’s important and of value. “Exam time can be very stressful, but taking some time to consider how to make the next exam session less so, and working towards establishing a positive trajectory, can make all the difference for the future,” says Gerli.

Resilience, the ability to bounce back from challenges and adapt in the face of adversity, is a critical skill for teenagers navigating the complexities of modern life. As parents, your role in fostering resilience can profoundly influence your child's ability to manage stress, overcome obstacles, and thrive both academically and personally. From an educator's perspective, here are key strategies to help build resilience in your teenager. 1. Encourage a Growth Mindset A growth mindset, the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work, is foundational to resilience. Praise your teenager for their effort rather than innate ability. For instance, instead of saying, "You're so smart," try, "I'm impressed by how hard you worked on this." This shift encourages persistence and a willingness to embrace challenges. 2. Foster Strong Relationships Supportive relationships are crucial for building resilience. Encourage your teenager to build and maintain healthy relationships with peers, family members, and mentors. Spend quality time together as a family, engage in open communication, and create an environment where your teenager feels safe to express their feelings and experiences. 3. Teach Problem-Solving Skills Equip your teenager with problem-solving skills to manage difficulties independently. When they face a challenge, guide them through the process of identifying the problem, brainstorming potential solutions, evaluating the pros and cons of each option, and implementing a plan of action. This practice not only builds resilience but also instils a sense of competence and confidence. 4. Promote Self-Care and Healthy Habits A healthy body supports a resilient mind. Encourage your teenager to adopt regular exercise, balanced nutrition, and adequate sleep. Discuss the importance of relaxation techniques such as mindfulness, meditation, or even simple hobbies that they enjoy. Prioritising self-care helps teenagers manage stress and maintain emotional balance. 5. Model Resilient Behaviour Children often learn by observing their parents. Demonstrate resilient behaviour in your own life. Share your experiences of overcoming difficulties, discuss the emotions involved, and explain how you managed to navigate the tough times. Your teenager will learn valuable lessons about resilience through your example. 6. Encourage Independence and Responsibility Allow your teenager to take on age-appropriate responsibilities and make their own decisions. This autonomy fosters a sense of control and competence. Please encourage them to set personal goals and take steps towards achieving them. Please support them in facing the natural consequences of their choices, as these experiences are crucial for learning and growth. 7. Provide a Safe Environment to Fail Failure is an inevitable part of life and a powerful teacher. Create an environment where failure is seen as a learning opportunity rather than a disaster. Encourage your teenager to take risks and try new things, reassuring them that it is okay to fail and that you are there to support them in learning from these experiences. 8. Develop Emotional Literacy Help your teenager develop emotional literacy, the ability to recognise, understand, and manage their emotions. Engage in conversations about feelings, encourage them to articulate their emotions, and validate their experiences. Teaching them techniques for managing negative emotions, such as deep breathing or journaling, can also be beneficial. 9. Set Realistic Expectations Set realistic and achievable expectations for your teenager. Unrealistic expectations can lead to excessive stress and a sense of failure. Please work with your teenager to set attainable goals and celebrate their progress. This approach fosters a sense of achievement and motivates them to keep moving forward despite setbacks. 10. Seek Professional Support When Needed Parents must identify when their child needs professional help. If your teenager is struggling with significant stress, anxiety, or depression, do not hesitate to seek support from school counsellors, therapists, or other mental health professionals. Early intervention can make a substantial difference in their ability to build and maintain resilience. Building resilience is a journey, not a destination. By employing these strategies, you can support your teenager in developing the skills and mindset needed to navigate life’s challenges with confidence and strength. As educators, we see firsthand the positive impact of resilience on students’ well-being and success, and we are committed to partnering with you in nurturing resilient, capable young adults.