How To Deal With Difference Personalities In The Classroom

James Messian, Life Sciences teacher at Abbotts College Centurion • May 23, 2019

2 Minute read

Make Your Classroom a Happier Space

 

One of the first lessons every teacher learns is that, in every classroom there is a kaleidoscope of different personalities present. At any one moment, the teacher is navigating a minefield of different characters, each of which requires specific attention and handling. No two students are the same, and a good teacher is skilled enough to bounce from one student to the next, to tailor their delivery and approach to suit individual character types while remaining uniform and neutral across the board. It is not easy to accomplish and requires a lot of patience.

 

While the individual personalities can fall anywhere on a broad scale, there are a few traits that are bound to be in every classroom. You will not fail to pick out the naturally gifted child in a classroom, or the popular kid, the shy one, the bully, the attention seeker. In this regard, teaching becomes a lot like diplomacy; it calls for a skilled and patient juggling of complex personalities that must somehow coexist together in one setting.

 

For most teachers, dealing with most students is easy enough. There is often no need to even single out specific personalities as you teach, however there area few personalities that are especially challenging to handle. These test the teacher, push them to the limit.
The question now is, how do you deal with the bully who says mean things about other children and even to you? How can you reach that little girl who never wants to be called upon to answer a question?


Here are a few tips on how to survive and indeed master the complex characters in your classroom:

 



Put yourself in their shoes

 

It is a universally accepted truth that interpersonal relationships are important, especially between a teacher and their student. Once a good relationship is established, barriers are broken down. Not only can the personal touch help in teaching, but it allows for the relationship to go beyond the classroom.


Getting to know your students will help reveal their character to you.Subsequently, you will be able to determine what works for them. Knowing you have a genius on your hands for example, you will know to tweak the material so that they, too, feel challenged and not bored. This is why Abbotts college relies so much on the mentoring system. This enables teachers to give their own personal touch in getting to know students as individuals and to know what their future aspirations are and how we can help with them achieving their goals.


If a student is acting out, the immediate reaction is anger and resentment. They are interrupting your class after all and making your life more difficult.But try and think about what it must be like for them. Put yourself in their shoes. Maybe they have problems at home and are lashing out at school. Maybe the reason Mary is not participating is because she is being bullied. Take the time to understand your students. It will help you deal better with their behavior.

 

Master your poker face

 

When dealing with a difficult student, try and keep a cool head.Put away the extreme emotions you are undoubtedly experiencing like frustration and anger. This will help you see the situation clearly, helping you handle it effectively. Students are very smart; they will pick up subtle indicators of your response to their actions. Often, they are testing you and pushing your buttons. They will do so until they determine your breaking point. You must therefore remain composed throughout. Speak in a soft voice that reflects your demeanour but communicate clearly and firmly. Focus on dealing with the issue at hand, and when it’s done, move on. Do not linger over it or hold a grudge. This way, your students learn a thing or two about handling conflict which will bean attitude they themselves will apply in future.

 

Be firm, but fair


Always remember that you are their teacher and guardian first, never their friend. It is a fine line to walk, having them respect you but letting them know they can approach you if they need anything. In case of doubt, it is better to stumble on the side of certainty. Your students understand that there are rules, which you must enforce. Do not let anyone get away with rule breaking, no matter how insignificant it seems. If you let just one slip, you lose control over the classroom, and you become infinitely less effective. This will not endear you to them, but they will respect you, and they will do what is right.


This does not mean, however, that you adopt a hard, unyielding stance. To err is human. Let your students know that it is okay to make a mistake, because it is a learning opportunity. This way, the punishment won’t feel like a personal slight. You should expect manipulation and bargaining and know how to deal with it. In return, reward good behavior. Be fair in your application of the rules. If you must, enlist the help of another teacher or even their parent. At the end of the day, the objective is to teach them to be responsible adults.

 

It is important to remember that with students, no shoe fits all, so approach each student as a unique individual. Listen to them, empathize with them, and you can discipline them.

By Ivan Horn, Principal: Abbotts High School Rondebosc June 12, 2025
Every young person has a unique story, but in the wrong school, that story might never be realised and celebrated. The right school, however, ensures that each story is heard and every student lives up to their full potential. Enter personalised learning: Environments where young people are seen, supported and encouraged to explore who they are and want to be in the world. When parents and students walk into a school which prides itself on being student-centered, they immediately feel this difference. In my 30 years in education, I’ve been continually inspired by what young people can achieve when given the right tools, space, and support. Success is about so much more than academic results, it also includes emotional and social growth. When students are free to express themselves, they experience deeper learning, and greater personal well-being and self-confidence. This freedom builds communication skills, sparks creativity, and fosters critical thinking, developing them into confident and capable young adults. TAILORING EDUCATION TO INDIVIDUAL NEEDS When schools shift to personalised learning, something transformative happens: Students stop feeling like just another face in the crowd and instead, they become active participants in their education. With tools like MAP assessments, teachers gain valuable insights into where a student excels and where they need support. This data informs learning plans tailored to each student’s pace and style. Some students benefit from short videos or visual aids, while others prefer hands-on tasks or one-on-one support. Platforms like Khan Academy and adaptive learning apps help teachers meet these diverse needs with precision. This model creates a more dynamic learning environment, where a struggling student can revisit a topic until it makes sense. Advanced learners are able to move on to more challenging material without waiting. Each student progresses at their own pace, in a way that works for them. BEYOND ACADEMICS The benefits of personalised learning go well beyond the classroom. Students build emotional resilience when their needs are recognised and met. Social development naturally follows as they take ownership of their learning and grow in confidence. Personalised learning doesn’t demand perfection, but invites growth. Schools become places of discovery, where students study not only the curriculum, but also discover who they are and what they’re capable of. If you are wondering whether high schools can change lives by embracing individuality, just watch a student light up when talking about a subject they love. Look at the learners who feel safe enough to speak up, take risks, and aim higher. UNLOCKING TRUE POTENTIAL When schools see students not as numbers, but as individuals with dreams and potential, education becomes truly impactful. Personalised learning is not a trend, it is a return to what learning should be: human, responsive, and empowering. As educators, parents, and communities, we must create environments where every student feels valued and every voice matters.  Because when we embrace students for who they really are, we unlock the door to who they’re meant to become.
February 17, 2025
Learn how to manage screen time effectively while ensuring academic success. Tips for teens and parents to strike the perfect balance.
By Tobi van Rhyn November 6, 2024
Explore how South African schools use restorative practices to foster discipline, academic success, and a stronger community.
August 22, 2024
Learn how to manage screen time effectively while ensuring academic success. Tips for teens and parents to strike the perfect balance.
July 1, 2024
In the wake of the mid-year exams, there is much that parents and students can learn from their results, which should be used to consider the way forward, an education expert says. “I was fortunate to have one child who was very diligent as a scholar, starting to study way ahead of the exams, even from the lower grades, using her midterm break to study year after year. She never had to be asked to go and study and her study breaks were actual breaks from studying,” says Mignonne Gerli, Principal: Abbotts College Pretoria East. “This was not true for all my children. Another of my children thought that studying the day before the exam would do just fine. I remember always catching this child on a study break or as she had just finished studying. I can confidently say that I never, in five years, caught her studying. You can imagine the fights and stress (felt by me) during this time.” As parents, we know how important it is to achieve good results at school. Prior to Grade 11 and 12, students already need to have developed a mature and diligent work ethic. “We know which doors can be opened and which firmly shut, based on your school results,” says Gerli. “For this reason, we fight the good fight which means that exam periods can be extremely stressful and highly unpleasant in many households. We try various methods to cajole our less than diligent children to put effort into their studies and in some cases loathe the day that the reports are published.” Whether exam time is a breeze for you as a parent, with your model child, or absolute hell, with your sweet/funny/kind but less committed child, the end of the exams and results need to be reflected upon. And for those who suffered through the past exams, it is time to come up with different strategies for the next set of exams. “Reflection for those who appear to prepare well for exams, will take the form of considering whether their study methods were effective or if they need help with the way in which they study.” “During these exams, I watched my one granddaughter study. “Not once did I catch her on a break on the days she was with us. What I also noticed was that she studies by copying out the textbook, not something that can be remedied when she is shoulder deep into the exams. This is not an effective way to study and she will definitely need to be taught better study methods in preparation for her next exams.” What have you as a parent noticed about your child’s study methods? Can you assist or will you need a professional to help with better study methods? “Students who achieved excellent results for their exams can reflect on why they did so well and how they can build on this going forward. “The students who put little to no effort into their preparation for the exams, will need guidance and assistance from their parents to try remedy their approach to their work. There needs to be an open, calm discussion about why they did not study for the exams and what would motivate them to study and put effort into their preparation for their next exam session.” Approaches could include: Negative consequences for poor effort, such as having their phones taken away for a period of time, grounding them or taking away certain privileges. Offering a reward for effort, this may be in the form of a cash incentive for improved results or achieving a certain mark per subject, it could be purchasing them something they would like, it could be additional privileges. Reasoning with them, explaining the importance of developing a mature work ethic and achieving good results. This is something teenagers struggle to fully comprehend so some true-life examples of success and failure of family members and friends, when it comes to financial and career success, may be useful here. Go through university courses they may be interested in with them and show them what is required to qualify for the courses. I have found that many teenagers have no idea what is required to gain access to a career they wish to pursue. A reality check is sometimes all they need. Help them think about their future and what they want to achieve in life. It needs to be concrete as having a goal is a great motivator for hard work. Usually, it is the students who have no real vision for their future and what they would like to achieve who struggle to motivate themselves to study. They simply don’t get why it’s important and of value.  “Exam time can be very stressful, but taking some time to consider how to make the next exam session less so, and working towards establishing a positive trajectory, can make all the difference for the future,” says Gerli.
By Sanet Van Rensburg June 19, 2024
Discover expert insights from a principal on fostering resilience and endurance in your child, helping them navigate challenges and thrive academically.
By Hanno Schoeman June 7, 2024
Resilience, the ability to bounce back from challenges and adapt in the face of adversity, is a critical skill for teenagers navigating the complexities of modern life. As parents, your role in fostering resilience can profoundly influence your child's ability to manage stress, overcome obstacles, and thrive both academically and personally. From an educator's perspective, here are key strategies to help build resilience in your teenager. 1. Encourage a Growth Mindset A growth mindset, the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work, is foundational to resilience. Praise your teenager for their effort rather than innate ability. For instance, instead of saying, "You're so smart," try, "I'm impressed by how hard you worked on this." This shift encourages persistence and a willingness to embrace challenges. 2. Foster Strong Relationships Supportive relationships are crucial for building resilience. Encourage your teenager to build and maintain healthy relationships with peers, family members, and mentors. Spend quality time together as a family, engage in open communication, and create an environment where your teenager feels safe to express their feelings and experiences. 3. Teach Problem-Solving Skills Equip your teenager with problem-solving skills to manage difficulties independently. When they face a challenge, guide them through the process of identifying the problem, brainstorming potential solutions, evaluating the pros and cons of each option, and implementing a plan of action. This practice not only builds resilience but also instils a sense of competence and confidence. 4. Promote Self-Care and Healthy Habits A healthy body supports a resilient mind. Encourage your teenager to adopt regular exercise, balanced nutrition, and adequate sleep. Discuss the importance of relaxation techniques such as mindfulness, meditation, or even simple hobbies that they enjoy. Prioritising self-care helps teenagers manage stress and maintain emotional balance. 5. Model Resilient Behaviour Children often learn by observing their parents. Demonstrate resilient behaviour in your own life. Share your experiences of overcoming difficulties, discuss the emotions involved, and explain how you managed to navigate the tough times. Your teenager will learn valuable lessons about resilience through your example. 6. Encourage Independence and Responsibility Allow your teenager to take on age-appropriate responsibilities and make their own decisions. This autonomy fosters a sense of control and competence. Please encourage them to set personal goals and take steps towards achieving them. Please support them in facing the natural consequences of their choices, as these experiences are crucial for learning and growth. 7. Provide a Safe Environment to Fail Failure is an inevitable part of life and a powerful teacher. Create an environment where failure is seen as a learning opportunity rather than a disaster. Encourage your teenager to take risks and try new things, reassuring them that it is okay to fail and that you are there to support them in learning from these experiences. 8. Develop Emotional Literacy Help your teenager develop emotional literacy, the ability to recognise, understand, and manage their emotions. Engage in conversations about feelings, encourage them to articulate their emotions, and validate their experiences. Teaching them techniques for managing negative emotions, such as deep breathing or journaling, can also be beneficial. 9. Set Realistic Expectations Set realistic and achievable expectations for your teenager. Unrealistic expectations can lead to excessive stress and a sense of failure. Please work with your teenager to set attainable goals and celebrate their progress. This approach fosters a sense of achievement and motivates them to keep moving forward despite setbacks. 10. Seek Professional Support When Needed Parents must identify when their child needs professional help. If your teenager is struggling with significant stress, anxiety, or depression, do not hesitate to seek support from school counsellors, therapists, or other mental health professionals. Early intervention can make a substantial difference in their ability to build and maintain resilience. Building resilience is a journey, not a destination. By employing these strategies, you can support your teenager in developing the skills and mindset needed to navigate life’s challenges with confidence and strength. As educators, we see firsthand the positive impact of resilience on students’ well-being and success, and we are committed to partnering with you in nurturing resilient, capable young adults.
By Hanno Schoeman June 7, 2024
Explore how South African schools use restorative practices to foster discipline, academic success, and a stronger community.
By Hanno Schoeman June 7, 2024
Is your child struggling at school? Discover when and how to consider changing schools to find the best fit for their academic and emotional needs.
By Hanno Schoeman June 7, 2024
Discover expert insights from a principal on fostering resilience and endurance in your child, helping them navigate challenges and thrive academically.
Show More